Zovuta za Ukwati Wosakanizidwa Ukukulitsidwa ndi Ziwawa Zachikhalidwe ndi Ziphuphu
Chinachitika ndi chiyani? Mbiri Yakale ya Kusamvana
Pa June 6, 2012 cha m’ma 8:15 PM, Virginia, mayi wina wochokera ku dziko lolankhula Chifalansa ku Africa komanso mayi wa ana anayi, anakonza zochitika zankhanza za m’banja atalandira malangizo kuchokera kwa ogwira ntchito m’mabungwe osiyanasiyana, omwe ndi Office for Youth and Mabanja ('Jugendam'), Malo Ogona Akazi Ozunzidwa ('Frauenhaus') ndi Ofesi Yothana Ndi Nkhanza M'banja ('Interventionsstelle gegen Gewalt in der Familie'). Virginia adaponya mbale ndi Marvin's (= mwamuna wake ndi nzika ya Democratic Republic of 'Disgustyria', dziko lomwe 'mwamwayi' ulamuliro wa malamulo umakhalapo ndipo ufulu wachibadwidwe ndi ufulu zimalemekezedwa) chakudya chamadzulo pamodzi ndi carafe yamadzi pansi pa chipinda chodyera ndikuyitana apolisi pogwiritsa ntchito nambala yadzidzidzi. Monga Virginia anali watsopano ku Disgustyria (anasamukira kumeneko atakwatiwa ndi Marvin kwawo ku Africa miyezi khumi ndi imodzi yapitayo), anali ndi chidziwitso chochepa cha chilankhulo cha komweko - chifukwa chake, Marvin adamuthandiza polankhula ndi adilesi yoyenera kwa adilesi yake. apolisi, popeza adatsimikiza kuti sanalakwitse chilichonse komanso kupezeka kwa apolisi kudzathandiza kubwezeretsa bwino mnyumbamo.
Apolisi atafika kunyumbako, Virginia mwadala - kutsatira 'upangiri wabwino' womwe adalandira kuchokera ku mabungwe omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa a Disgustyria - adapotoza nkhani yake ndikupereka dala zolakwika zomwe zidachitika kupolisi, mwachitsanzo, adadzudzula Marvin kuti anali ndi vuto. wakhala waukali kwa iye, kuphatikizapo nkhanza zakuthupi / nkhanza. Zotsatira zake, apolisi adauza Marvin kuti akonze sutikesi yake mkati mwa mphindi 10 ndipo adapereka lamulo loletsa kwa nthawi yoyamba ya milungu iwiri, yomwe idatalikitsidwa mpaka milungu inayi. Marvin adayenera kupereka makiyi a nyumbayo kwa apolisi ndipo onse a Virginia ndi Marvin adaperekezedwa kupolisi yapafupi kuti akafunse zambiri za zomwe zidachitika. Kupolisi Virginia anakulitsa mabodza ake poimba Marvin molakwa kuti anamukoka tsitsi ndi kuvulaza mutu.
Chifukwa choti sankadziwa zambiri chinenero cha kumeneko, Virginia anakonza zoti amufunse mafunso mothandizidwa ndi munthu wolumbirira womasulira Chifalansa. Zinachitika kuti Virginia ankavala nyali panthawiyi ndipo chifukwa chake kunali kosatheka kuvulazidwa kumutu ngati Marvin, (wotchedwa 'wotsutsa') adakoka tsitsi lake. Virginia tsopano adasintha mawu ake pofotokoza kuti sanamvetsetse funso la apolisi ('kuyiwala' kuti adafunsidwa mothandizidwa ndi womasulira wolumbira), popeza samamva chilankhulo cha komweko ndipo adawauza kuti m'malo momukoka tsitsi, Marvin adamukankhira mozungulira m'nyumbamo ndipo kenako adagunda khoma ndi mutu wake ndipo tsopano akudwala mutu kwambiri ndipo adapempha kuti amunyamule ndi ambulansi. kupita kuchipatala chotsatira kuti akapimidwe mwatsatanetsatane. Zotsatira za kafukufuku wachipatalazi zinali zoipa, mwachitsanzo, dokotala wofufuza ALIYENSE kudziwa chilichonse mwachinyengo chomwe chinanenedwa kuti chinavulala pamutu - palibe zooneka komanso palibe zothandizidwa ndi ma x-rays awiri. Zotsatira za mayeso ochulukawa zinali zoipa.
Ngakhale izi zotsutsana ndi zabodza m'mawu ake, lamulo loletsa lidali lovomerezeka - Marvin adathamangitsidwa pamsewu. Virginia adaumiriranso kuti achoke mnyumbamo ndikulowetsedwa mu Shelter ya azimayi ozunzidwa omwe adapereka kale 'chitetezo' kwa iye ndi ana ake anayi masiku angapo m'mbuyomu, ngati 'chinachake choipa chiyenera kuchitika kunyumba'.
Tsopano - patatha zaka pafupifupi zisanu zoyesayesa zopanda phindu zamalamulo komanso kupwetekedwa mtima kosalekeza, Marvin
- anasiya kucheza ndi ana ake anayi (awiri a iwo, Antonia ndi Alexandro, anali ndi masabata asanu ndi limodzi okha panthawi yomwe Virginia adayambitsa nkhanza zapakhomo) omwe sadziwa abambo awo ndipo amakakamizika kukula ngati theka- ana amasiye popanda chifukwa;
- anali atapezedwa wolakwa ndi khoti la mabanja chifukwa chosokoneza ukwatiwo;
- wachotsedwa ntchito yake yamalipiro abwino;
- ngakhale adayesetsa mobwerezabwereza kuti akambirane ndi mkazi wake wakale, ngakhale kulowererapo kwa 'osalowerera ndale', kuti apeze yankho lovomerezeka chifukwa cha ana awo anayi akulekanitsidwa ndi mkazi wake wakale chifukwa 'amatetezedwa' ndi mabungwe omwe tawatchulawa, omwe salola kulumikizana kulikonse kotero kuti akuyambitsa mikangano mwachindunji ndi mwadala;
- ali ndi ziwawa zodziwika bwino komanso kusazindikira komanso kusachita bwino m'malamulo, omwe nthawi yomweyo amalengeza kuti amuna ndi 'ozunza ndi kutsitsa abambo ku 'ATM Card' kuwakakamiza kuti akwaniritse udindo wawo wosamalira mabanja popanda mwayi wakutali. kumakumana pafupipafupi ndi ana ake.
Nkhani za Wina ndi Mnzake - Momwe Munthu Aliyense Amamvetsetsa Mkhalidwewo ndi Chifukwa Chiyani
Nkhani ya Virginia – Iye ndiye vuto.
Udindo: Ndine mkazi komanso mayi wabwino ndipo ndimazunzidwa m’banja.
Chidwi:
Chitetezo / Chitetezo: Ndinachoka m’dziko lathu ku Africa chifukwa chokonda mwamuna wanga amene ndinangokwatiwa kumene komanso kuti ndidzalemekezedwa ndi kuchitidwa ulemu monga mkazi wokhala ndi ufulu wake wonse. Ndinkafunanso kupatsa ana anga tsogolo labwino. Palibe mkazi amene ayenera kuchitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo ndi kuopa kuphedwa pamene akukwatiwa ndi mwamuna yemwe amakhala wankhanza. Ufulu wa amayi uyenera kulemekezedwa ndipo ndine wokondwa kuti ndapeza mabungwe ku Disgustyria omwe ali okhazikika pakati pa anthu ndipo akugwira ntchito mwakhama kuti ateteze amayi ndi ana kwa amuna awo ankhanza komanso ankhanza.
Zofuna Zathupi: Panthaŵi yaukwati ndi Marvin, ndinamva ngati ndili m’ndende. Ndinali watsopano ku Disgustyria ndipo sindinkadziŵa bwino chinenero ndiponso chikhalidwe cha kumeneko. Ndinaganiza kuti ndikhoza kudalira mwamuna wanga, zomwe sizinali choncho. Chidaliro changa mwa iye chinali chozikidwa pa malonjezo ake onama pamene tinali kukhala limodzi mu Afirika tisanakwatirane. Mwachitsanzo, sanandilole kuti ndiyambe kucheza ndi anthu a ku Africa kuno kwa nthawi ndithu. Marvin anaumirira kuti ndizikhala kunyumba kokha, kuika maganizo anga onse pa ntchito ya 'mayi wapakhomo' ndi 'mayi', zomwe zinandipangitsa kudzimva ngati mkazi woyeretsa. Anakananso kupereka ndalama zapakhomo zomwe ndingagwiritse ntchito popanda kumufunsa zofunikira .... Sindinaloledwe ngakhale kugula mtundu wosavuta wa misomali. Anasunganso chinsinsi cha malipiro ake. Sanali wabwino kwa ine ndipo zinali zosatheka kuyankhula naye m'mawu abwinobwino - nthawi zonse amandilalatira ine ndi ana. Ndikuganiza kuti ndi munthu amene amakonda kumenyana kusiyana ndi kukhazikitsa mgwirizano m'nyumba ndi banja lake. Iye si tate wabwino kwa ana ake chifukwa alibe mphamvu zowonetsera malingaliro ndi kumvetsetsa zosowa zawo.
Ubale / Zolinga za Banja: Nthawi zonse ndinkalakalaka kukhala mayi komanso kukhala ndi mwamuna ndikukhala pamodzi ngati banja pansi pa denga limodzi. Ndinkafunanso kukhala m’banja lalikulu, koma monga mlendo ndiponso mkazi wochokera ku Afirika nthaŵi zonse ndinkaona kuti banja la Marvin silinkandilemekeza monga mnzathu wofanana naye. Ndikuganiza kuti banja lake ndi lokonda kusamala komanso oganiza mopanda tsankho motero likuwonetsa malingaliro atsankho kwa ine. Chifukwa chake, maloto anga onena za 'banja lalikulu' anatha kuyambira pachiyambi.
Kudzidalira / Ulemu: Ndinakwatiwa ndi Marvin chifukwa chakuti ndinkamukonda kwambiri, ndipo ndinasangalala kukwatiwa ndi kusamukira ndi mwamuna wanga kudziko lakwawo mu June 2011. Ndiyenera kulemekezedwa monga mayi komanso mayi amene anachoka m’dziko lawo n’kupita kukakhala kwawo. ndi mwamuna ndi amene akukumana ndi zovuta zonse za mlendo m'dziko latsopano ndi kumaliza chikhalidwe chosiyana. Ndikufuna kupereka tsogolo lotetezeka ndi lokhazikika kwa ana anga kupyolera mu maphunziro abwino omwe ayenera kuwathandiza kupeza ntchito yabwino pambuyo pake. Komanso ana anga ayenera kulemekezedwa - Marvin sanali bambo wabwino ndipo ankawachitira nkhanza.
Nkhani ya Marvin – Iye (khalidwe lake) ndi mabungwe achinyengo/nkhanza za m’machitidwe ndi vuto.
Udindo: Ndikufuna kuchitiridwa zinthu mwachilungamo potengera zomwe zachitika - ufulu wachibadwidwe uyenera kutsatiridwa.
Chidwi:
Chitetezo / Chitetezo: Ndiyenera kudzimva kukhala wosungika m’nyumba mwanga, umphumphu wanga pamodzi ndi kukhulupirika kwa banja langa ziyenera kulemekezedwa ndi mabungwe a boma, kuphatikizapo apolisi. M'dziko lademokalase anthu sayenera kuzunzidwa ndi kulangidwa koopsa chifukwa cha zifukwa zopanda pake, zomangidwa komanso zabodza zabodza. Amuna ndi akazi ndi anthu omwe ali ndi ufulu ndi udindo wofanana….Kuyambitsa 'nkhondo' yolimbana ndi abambo ndi abambo pansi pa ambulera yokayikitsa ya 'kumasulidwa' ndi malingaliro achilengedwe akuti amuna nthawi zonse ndi 'ochita nkhanza', ndipo akazi amakhala ozunzidwa nthawi zonse. amuna ankhanza sasunga madzi ndipo ali kutali ndi zenizeni. Sichigwirizana ndi lingaliro la 'ufulu wofanana kwa amuna ndi akazi'….
Zofuna Zathupi: Monga bambo wabanja ndikufuna kukhala ndi ana anga tsiku ndi tsiku kuti ndikhazikitse maubwenzi amphamvu ndi okhalitsa. Kuchita nawo gawo lalikulu m'miyoyo yawo ndikukhala chitsanzo kwa iwo ndichinthu chomwe ndikuyembekeza. Ndinawamangira nyumba ndipo ayenera kukhala nane, ndipo mayi awo ankatha kuwaona nthawi zonse mmene angafunire. Ana sayenera kuvutika chifukwa makolo awo sanathe kukhalira limodzi mwaulemu monga mwamuna ndi mkazi wake. Sindikanawamana ana anga kuyanjana kwambiri ndi amayi awo.
Ubale / Zolinga za Banja: Ndinabadwira m’kamudzi kakang’ono kum’mwera kwa Disgustyria m’banja la ana asanu. Zikhalidwe za chikhristu komanso kamvedwe ka banja, mwachitsanzo, bambo, mayi ndi ana, ndi mikhalidwe yomwe imapezeka mkati mwa umunthu wanga. Kutaya banja chifukwa cha zizoloŵezi zolinganizidwa ndi zachipongwe zoterozo n’kopweteka kwambiri ndipo n’kodabwitsa. Makolo anga sadziwa n’komwe zidzukulu zawo….Ndili ndi nkhawa ndi umoyo wa ana anga anayi, omwe akuyenera kudziwa komwe akuchokera – ndi ufulu wawo kulumikizana ndi agogo awo, azakhali awo, amalume awo, ndi abale. Ndikuwona kuti kudziwa mizu yawo ndikofunikira pakukula bwino kwamaganizidwe. Kodi ana anga adzakhale ndi zikhalidwe zotani (zabanja) ngati sakhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi banja lenileni ndikukula ngati ana amasiye? Ndikukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi tsogolo la ana anga.
Kudzidalira / Ulemu: Ndiyenera kudalira malamulo apabanja komanso dongosolo logwira ntchito lachilungamo. Ufulu ndi ufulu wachibadwidwe, kuphatikizapo ufulu wa mwana, zimayendetsedwa bwino ndi a) Malamulo a Disgustyria, b) European Convention of Human Rights, c) UN Charter of Human Rights, d) Pangano la UN la Ufulu wa Mwana. Ndizovuta kwa ine kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe makonzedwewa amanyalanyazidwa mosalekeza, komanso kuti palibe njira zowakhazikitsira. Ndikufuna kulemekezedwa m’chikhumbo changa chochita mbali yokangalika m’miyoyo ya ana anga anayi. Ndikufuna kuti ndizicheza nawo pafupipafupi komanso mopanda malire ndipo ndikufuna kupereka chithandizo chofunikira chandalama mwachindunji kwa iwo m'mbali zonse za moyo. Ndikufuna kuti mawu anga alemekezedwe ndi kuzindikiridwa ndi onse omwe akukhudzidwa komanso kuti sindinganenedwe ndikutsutsidwa ngati 'wachiwembu', pamene umboni wonse ukutsimikizira zosiyana. Mfundo ziyenera kulemekezedwa ndipo malamulo akuyenera kutsatiridwa.
Pulojekiti ya Mediation: Phunziro la Nkhani la Mediation lopangidwa ndi Martin Harrich, 2017
