Izinselelo Zomshado Oxubile Okhuliswa Udlame Lwesakhiwo kanye Nezikhungo Zenkohlakalo
Kwenzenjani? Isizinda Somlando Sengxabano
NgoJuni 6, 2012 ngabo-8:15 PM, eVirginia, owesifazane wasezweni lase-Afrika elikhuluma isiFulentshi futhi unina wezingane ezine, wahlela isigameko sodlame lwasekhaya ngemva kokuthola isiqondiso kubasebenzi bezikhungo ezihlukahlukene, okuyi-Office for Youth and Imindeni ('Jugendamt'), Indawo Yabesifazane Abahlukunyeziwe ('Frauenhaus') kanye Nehhovisi Lokungenelela Okumelene Nodlame Lwasekhaya ('Interventionsstelle gegen Gewalt in der Familie'). UVirginia ujikijele ipuleti likaMarvin (= umyeni wakhe nesakhamuzi saseDemocratic Republic of 'Disgustyria', isifunda lapho 'ngokusemthethweni' umthetho uyabusa futhi amalungelo ayisisekelo nenkululeko ayahlonishwa) isidlo sakusihlwa kanye nekharafe yamanzi phansi endlini yokudlela futhi wabiza amaphoyisa esebenzisa inombolo yezimo eziphuthumayo. Njengoba uVirginia ayesanda kufika e-Disgustyria (wathuthela lapho ngemva kokushada noMarvin ezweni lakubo e-Afrika ezinyangeni eziyishumi nanye ezedlule), wayenolwazi oluncane lolimi lwendawo - yingakho uMarvin wamsiza ngokudlulisela ikheli elifanele amaphoyisa, njengoba enesiqiniseko sokuthi akenzanga lutho olubi futhi ukuba khona kwamaphoyisa kuzosiza ukubuyisela isimo esijwayelekile endlini.
Ekufikeni kwamaphoyisa efulethini, uVirginia ngamabomu - elandela 'iseluleko esihle' asithola ezikhungweni ezibalulwe ngenhla zase-Disgustyria - wasonta indaba yakhe futhi wanikeza imininingwane engalungile ngamabomu mayelana nezenzakalo zangempela emaphoyiseni, okungukuthi wasola uMarvin ngokuthi ube nolaka kuye, okuhlanganisa ukuhlukunyezwa/udlame. Ngenxa yalokho, amaphoyisa ayala uMarvin ukuba alungise ipotimende lakhe kungakapheli imizuzu eyi-10 futhi akhipha umyalo ovimbela isikhathi sokuqala esingamasonto amabili, okwathi ngemva kwalokho sanwetshwa saba amasonto amane. UMarvin kwadingeka ukuthi anikeze amaphoyisa izikhiye zefulethi kanti bobabili uVirginia noMarvin baphelezelwa esiteshini samaphoyisa esiseduze ukuze baphenywe kabanzi ngokwenzeka. Esiteshini samaphoyisa uVirginia wabhebhethekisa amanga akhe ngokusola uMarvin ngokungafanele ngokuthi umdonse izinwele wamlimaza ekhanda.
Ngenxa yolwazi lwakhe olulinganiselwe lolimi lwendawo, ukuphenywa kukaVirginia kwahlelwa ngosizo lomhumushi ofungelwe wesiFulentshi. Kwenzeka ukuthi uVirginia wayegqoke intambo ngalesi sikhathi futhi ngakho-ke kwakungenakwenzeka ukuzwa ukulimala ekhanda uma u-Marvin, (omenyezelwe 'njengomhlukumezi') edonsa izinwele zakhe. UVirginia manje uguqule isitatimende sakhe ngokuchaza ukuthi ubengawuqondi kahle umbuzo wamaphoyisa ('ekhohlwe' iqiniso lokuthi waphekwa ngemibuzo ngosizo lomhumushi ofungelwe), njengoba engaluqondi ulimi lwendawo futhi wabatshela ukuthi esikhundleni sokumdonsa izinwele, uMarvin wamsunduza efulethini futhi wabe eseshayisa ikhanda lakhe odongeni futhi manje uphethwe yikhanda elibuhlungu futhi wacela ukuthuthwa nge-ambulensi. esibhedlela esilandelayo ukuze bahlolwe kabanzi. Umphumela walokhu kuhlolwa kwezokwelapha wawungemuhle, okungukuthi udokotela ohlolayo AKAKWAZI ukubona noma yikuphi ukulimala kwekhanda okumangalelwe - akukho okubonakalayo futhi akukho okusekelwe ama-x-Ray amabili. Imiphumela yalezi zivivinyo ezibanzi yaba mibi.
Naphezu kwalokhu kuphikisana okusobala namanga esitatimendeni sakhe, umyalo wokwenqatshelwa wahlala usebenza - uMarvin waxoshwa emgwaqweni ngokoqobo. UVirginia uphikelele ukuthi naye aphume efulethini futhi angeniswe eShelter yabesifazane abahlukunyeziwe asebevele bamnikeze 'ukuvikela' yena nezingane zakhe ezine ezinsukwini ezedlule, uma kwenzeka 'kufanele kwenzeke into embi ekhaya'.
Manje - ngemva kweminyaka ecishe ibe mihlanu yemizamo yomthetho engaphumeleli kanye nokuhlukumezeka kwengqondo okuqhubekayo, uMarvin
- ulahlekelwe ngokuphelele ukuthintana nezingane zakhe ezine (ezimbili kuzo, u-Antonia no-Alexandro, babenamasonto ayisithupha kuphela ngesikhathi uVirginia ehlela indawo yodlame lwasekhaya) abangamazi uyise futhi abaphoqeleka ukuba bakhule bengabancane- izintandane ngaphandle kwe(izi)sizathu;
- wayetholwe enecala yinkantolo yomndeni ngokubhidliza umshado;
- ulahlekelwe umsebenzi wakhe oholela kahle;
- naphezu kwemizamo yakhe ephindaphindiwe yokuxoxisana nomkakhe wangaphambili, ngisho nangokungenelela 'kokungathathi hlangothi kweqembu lesithathu', ukuze athole isisombululo esamukelekayo ngenxa yezingane zabo ezine uyahlukaniswa nowayeshade naye njengoba 'evikelwe' lezi zikhungo ezibalulwe ngenhla, ezingavumeli noma yibaphi abantu abanjalo othintana nabo ngakho-ke ezibhebhethekisa ukungqubuzana ngokuqondile nangamabomu;
- uhlushwa udlame olusobala lwesakhiwo kanye nokungazi okusabalele kanye nokungasebenzi kahle ohlelweni lwezomthetho, olumemezela ngokushesha amadoda 'njengabahlukumezi futhi abehlisela obaba' 'ikhadi le-ATM' okubaphoqa ukuthi bahlangabezane nezibopho zokwesekwa komndeni okuphezulu ngokungadingekile ngaphandle kokuthola ithuba elikude ukuxhumana njalo nezingane zakhe.
Izindaba Zomunye Nomunye - Umuntu Ngamunye Usiqonda Kanjani Isimo nokuthi Kungani
Indaba kaVirginia – Uyinkinga.
Isikhundla: Ngingumfazi nomama oqotho, futhi ngiyisisulu sobudlova basekhaya.
Izintshisekelo:
Ukuphepha / Ukuphepha: Ngalishiya izwe lakithi e-Afrika ngenxa yokuthanda umyeni wami osanda kushada futhi nginethemba lokuhlonishwa nokuphathwa ngendlela ehloniphekile njengowesifazane onamalungelo akhe wonke. Nganginethemba lokuthi ngizonikeza izingane zami ikusasa elihle. Akekho owesifazane okufanele ahlukunyezwe ekhaya futhi esabela impilo yakhe ngenkathi eshade nendoda egcina ihlukumezekile. Amalungelo abantu besifazane kumele ahlonishwe futhi ngiyajabula ukuthi ngithole izikhungo zaseDisgustyria ezigxile kakhulu emphakathini futhi ezisebenza kanzima ukuvikela omama nezingane kubayeni babo abahlukumezayo nabanolaka.
Izidingo Zomzimba: Phakathi nomshado noMarvin, ngazizwa sengathi ngisejele. Ngangimusha e-Disgustyria futhi ngingalwazi ulimi lwendawo namasiko. Ngangicabanga ukuthi ngingathembela kumyeni wami, okwakungenjalo. Ukumethemba kwami kwakusekelwe ezithembisweni zakhe ezingamanga ngesikhathi sisahlala ndawonye e-Afrika ngaphambi kokuba sishade. Ngokwesibonelo akazange angivumele ukuba ngixhumane nabanye abantu base-Afrika ababehlala lapha isikhathi eside kakade. UMarvin wagcizelela ukuthi ngihlale ekhaya kuphela, ngigxile endimeni yokuba 'umama wekhaya' kanye 'nomama', okwangenza ngazizwa ngingowesifazane ohlanzayo. Wenqaba futhi ukunginikeza isabelomali sasekhaya esiyisisekelo engangingasisebenzisa ngaphandle kokuba ngimbuze izinto eziyisisekelo….Ngangingavunyelwe ngisho nokuthenga umbala wezinzipho olulula mina ngokwami. Wayegcina imfihlo yeholo lakhe. Wayengakaze abe muhle kimi futhi kwakungenakwenzeka ukukhuluma naye ngezwi elivamile - wayehlale engithethisa kanye nezingane. Ngicabanga ukuthi ungumuntu othanda ukulwa esikhundleni sokusungula ukuzwana ekhaya nasemndenini wakhe. Akayena ubaba omuhle ezinganeni zakhe njengoba engenalo ikhono lokukhombisa imizwa nokuqonda izidingo zabo.
Ubungane / Amagugu Omndeni: Bekuhlale kuyiphupho lami ukuba ngumama nokuba nomyeni sibe sihlala ndawonye njengomndeni ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa. Ngangifuna nokuba ingxenye yomkhaya omkhulu, kodwa njengowokufika nowesifazane ovela e-Afrika ngangihlale nginomuzwa wokuthi umkhaya kaMarvin awungihloniphi njengomlingani olinganayo. Ngicabanga ukuthi umndeni wakhe udla ngoludala futhi unomqondo omncane ngakho ubonisa uhlobo lwesimo sengqondo sokucwasa kimina. Ngakho, iphupho lami 'lomndeni omkhulu' lashabalala kusukela ekuqaleni.
Ukuzethemba / Ukuhlonipha: Ngashada noMarvin ngoba ngangimthanda, futhi ngakujabulela ukushada nokuthuthela nomyeni wami ezweni lakubo ngo-June 2011. Ngidinga ukuhlonishwa njengowesifazane nomama owashiya izwe lakubo wayohlala. nomyeni futhi obhekene nazo zonke izinselele zomuntu ovela kwelinye izwe ezweni elisha futhi agcwalise isiko elihlukile. Ngifuna ukuhlinzeka ngekusasa elivikelekile nelizinzile lezingane zami ngemfundo enhle okufanele izisize zithole umsebenzi omuhle kamuva. Futhi izingane zami zifanelwe ukuhlonishwa - uMarvin wayengeyena ubaba oqotho futhi wayezihlukumeza.
Indaba kaMarvin – Yena ('umlingisi' wakhe) kanye nezikhungo ezikhohlakele/udlame lwesakhiwo yinkinga.
Isikhundla: Ngifuna ukuphathwa ngendlela efanele ngokusekelwe emaqinisweni ayisisekelo - amalungelo ayisisekelo adinga ukuphakanyiswa.
Izintshisekelo:
Ukuphepha / Ukuphepha: Ngidinga ukuzizwa ngiphephile endlini yami futhi ubuqotho bami kanye nobuqotho bomndeni wami kufanele kuhlonishwe izikhungo zikahulumeni, kuhlanganise nombutho wamaphoyisa. Ezweni lentando yeningi abantu akufanele bahlukunyezwe futhi bajeziswe kanzima ngenxa yezinsolo namanga angenasisekelo, akhiwe futhi ngokuqinisekile angamanga. Abesilisa nabesifazane bangabantu abanamalungelo alinganayo nezibopho….Ukuqala 'impi' ngokumelene namadoda nobaba ngaphansi kwesambulela esingabazekayo 'sokukhululwa' ngombono wemvelo wokuthi amadoda ahlala 'engabahlukumezi', futhi abesifazane bahlala beyizisulu ze amadoda ahlukumezayo awawabambi amanzi futhi akude neqiniso. Impela awuwusekeli umqondo 'wokulingana kwamalungelo amadoda nabesifazane'….
Izidingo Zomzimba: Njengendoda yomndeni ngifuna ukuba nezingane zami nsuku zonke ukuze ngimise izibopho eziqinile nezihlala njalo ezingokomzwelo. Ukubamba iqhaza elibonakalayo empilweni yabo nokuba yisibonelo kubo yinto engiyethemba. Ngabakhela indlu futhi kufanele bahlale nami, lapho unina ayebabona khona njalo lapho ethanda. Akufanele izingane zihlupheke ngoba abazali bazo behluleka ukuhlala ndawonye ngenhlonipho njengendoda nomfazi. Angisoze ngaphuca izingane zami ukuxhumana ezazidingeka kakhulu nomama wazo.
Ubungane / Amagugu Omndeni: Ngazalelwa futhi ngakhulela edolobhaneni eliseningizimu yeDisgustyria emkhayeni wezingane ezinhlanu. Izimiso zobuKristu kanye nokuqonda ngokwesiko komndeni, okungukuthi, ubaba, umama nezingane, yizimiso ezitholakala ngaphakathi kwesakhiwo sobuntu bami. Ukulahlekelwa umkhaya ngemikhuba enjalo ehleliwe nehlukumezayo kuyadabukisa futhi kuyashaqisa mathupha. Abazali bami abazi ngisho nabazukulu babo….Ngikhathazekile ngokuphila kahle kwengqondo kwezingane zami ezine, ezidinga ukwazi ukuthi ziphumaphi - kuyilungelo lazo ukuxhumana nogogo nomkhulu, omalumekazi, omalume bazo, kanye nabazala. Nginomuzwa wokuthi ukwazi izimpande zabo kubalulekile ekuthuthukisweni okungokwengqondo okunempilo. Hlobo luni lwezimiso (zomndeni) izingane zami eziyozihlakulela uma zingakaze zibe nethuba lokuthola umndeni weqiniso futhi kufanele zikhule ziyizintandane? Ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngekusasa lezingane zami.
Ukuzethemba / Inhlonipho: Ngidinga ukuthembela emthethweni womndeni wasekhaya kanye nohlelo olusebenzayo lobulungisa. Amalungelo ayisisekelo nenkululeko, okuhlanganisa namalungelo engane, alawulwa ngokugcwele a) umthethosisekelo we-Disgustyria, b) I-European Convention of Human Rights, c) I-UN Charter of Human Rights, d) I-UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. Kunzima kimina ukuqonda ukuthi kungani lezi zimiso zishaywa indiva ngokuqhubekayo, nokuthi azikho izindlela zokuzisebenzisa. Ngifuna ukuhlonishwa ngesifiso sami sokudlala indima ebalulekile ekuphileni kwezingane zami ezine. Ngifuna ukuba nokuxhumana nabo njalo nabangenamingcele futhi ngifuna ukubanikeza usekelo lwezezimali oludingekayo ngokuqondile kuzo zonke izici zokuphila. Ngifuna amazwi ami ahlonishwe futhi aqashelwe yibo bonke abahililekile nokuthi angimenyezelwa futhi ngishushiswe 'njengomhlukumezi', lapho bonke ubufakazi buqinisekisa ngokusobala okuphambene. Amaqiniso adinga ukuhlonishwa futhi nomthetho kumele ugcinwe.
Iphrojekthi Yokulamula: Indaba Yokulamula ithuthukiswe ngu UMartin Harrich, 2017
